My Endometriosis Story

As a little girl, I always knew that I would grow up to have four children.  I would tell people that I wanted to have two children of my own and adopt two.  Well life has a way of not going as you plan it (go figure) and at age 18 I was scheduled for my very first surgery where my diagnosis was Endometriosis. Now many are not familiar with this disease and back in the late 90s not even many physicians could give much information.  At that time, I was not given real deal about my condition nor was I prepared for the battle that lied ahead of me.  According to my physician, much of my pain and discomfort was caused by Endometriosis and began day one of my first cycle at the age of 12.  I was placed on medication that prevented me from having a menstrual cycle and honestly I was in HEAVEN and I thought I had time.

Well later in life and just like most women, I started to get the baby bug and my clock was ticking.  I thought best to stop the medication and and assumed I was cured (truth...HA!).  I have always had a high tolerance for pain but the pain that came after removing myself from the medication was unbearable.  I can still recall driving down the street and unable to press the car accelerator because my legs had gone numb.

I was in my mid to late 20s when a physician told me that I more than likely would not be able to have children.  I was devastated and although we never forget certain moments in our lives, I remember that exact moment because he told me over the phone but for whatever reason I cannot remember my age at that time but I knew then that I was going to fight with everything in me.  I cannot tell you how many doctors I have seen.  I STILL find old medical records stored at home with a different provider's name and honestly cannot recall those visits.  I have had so many surgeries I have lost count (between 5-7) and from the repeated laparoscopic procedures with the camera my naval has been disfigured.

NOW fast forward I am 30 years old, engaged to me married and having to have a conversation about not being able to give him children.  THOUGHTS: (1) He is going to leave me, (2) He is going to think something is wrong with me, (3) He will leave and have a baby with someone else.  Those are just a few things that ran through my mind (trust me it was many more). But GOD blessed me with a man that was my friend long before we were dating, engaged or married so he knew a small part of my story but not in full detail.  All I remember him saying to me, "I am not marrying you for children, I am marrying you for you and we will figure that out along the way".  AND even after that, my mind would not allow me to believe him because deep down in my heart of insecurities no man would be willing to stay with a broken woman.

 Until you have walked in the shoes of Endometriosis "before" birthing a child, you have no clue of mental and physical pain that comes along with it.  Endometriosis is not something that happens overnight and it only worsens with time.  At the age of 12 mine was just starting, by the age of 18 the presence was clear.  The medication only stalled its progression but after stopping the medication the damage was back and in full effect. I cannot count how many physicians told me that I should have taken the opportunities to have a child in my teen years because now I did not have a chance. I used to think I was being punished for many choices I made as a young girl and GOD had not forgiven me (imagine carrying that type of guilt for years).

It took us 7 years, millions of internet searches, over the counter vitamins, Chinese herbal medications, tons of money, additional heartbreaking news, road blocks, doctors appointments, arguments, hope, faith and prayer but it was all worth it to conceive at age 37 and give birth at age 38.

AND I would do it all over again!

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