I recently read an article by Sike Jasso on a 74 year old woman giving birth to twins!!!!
In reading the article I was excited to know both mom and twins are healthy. Mom has achieved a world record by being the oldest 1st time mother. What had given me more joy was knowing that her and her husband had tried for a number of years to become parents and were not successful and eventually they received their miracle. This is one of those feel good stories that everyone wants to see and share in the happy ending.
I am sure many will look at this story and begin to criticize the parents age. I would be lying if I said the age of the mother didn't catch my eye to even open the article but I am a firm believer that people have to make decisions that are best for them. I would not jump on the bandwagon with others to say what is right or what is wrong for other individuals life choices.
However, I have a flip side and would love comments and feed back. As a mature aged 1st time mother, I am constantly trying to make up for lost time. So much as brainstorming and ensuring that all of my T's are crossed and I's are dotted where my daughter is concerned. Let me explain, now at the age of 41, I have a soon to be 3-year old (still seems unreal. I have a 3 year old. YAY!!). I am always trying to look for ways to improve my health (which I think is a great thing) weather its eating, exercising, and improving my mental health. Not to say I didn't care before giving birth but now its like times 10. I just want to ensure I remain healthy enough to be with her during her active years as well as add years to my life. My husband and I are constantly having conversations as to making sure she is properly cared for in the event he or I cannot be there for her. That includes a number of things from our living wills to having her financially set for her future. Much of this anxiety comes from losing my sister so suddenly and her leaving behind 4 children where I had to figure things out along the way (no easy task).
Had I been given a choice, I would never have made the decision to be a 1st time mother at 38 but now that I am I wouldn't change a thing. I LOVE, LOVE and absolutely LOVE the fact that I am settled, career has been established, financially stable and able to devote the time needed for all of her activities, wants and needs. Truthfully, I do not think if I were aged 74 I would be seeking options for getting pregnant but that is just my personal opinion just as many would say at aged 38 they would not be seeking options for pregnancy. I did not know this would be my journey just as I am sure this couple didn't think they would be 1st time parents in their 70s and 80s.
Congratulations to this Happy Couple for their determination and perseverance!
Please check out the article and share your thoughts.
Thursday, September 12, 2019
Friday, June 21, 2019
Supporting loved ones with infertility, it can be done
When my husband I got the news that we were expecting, not only were we ecstatic we also made the decision not to share our news until we were passed the first trimester. During our time of extreme bliss we had close friends and family that were experiencing their own hardships from infertility, miscarriages and SIDS.
To be perfectly honest, I was not prepared as to how to handle sharing my exciting news with them knowing their one true desire was to become parents. One situation I played over and over in my head and for the life of me I could not pick up the phone. I just could not share that I was expecting knowing they had just lost their child. We went a little over a year without speaking to each other and although I would have liked to handle it differently it's a decision I do not regret. I do know and understand how people can want to be happy for others but yet their own personal situations can be so devastating that they can not truly share in your blessings. This was just one of those things that I had to just let play itself out.
With some of the others I found myself wanting to soften and cushion the blow so I called to tell them the news to allow them time to process and be prepared when the big announcement was made to the entire family.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to share your news but when it comes to friends and family that are suffering with becoming parents it can be an emotional roller coaster for them but that does not mean they are not happy for you. YES!!! You are excited, thankful and blessed as you should be. So celebrate but being sensitive and checking on your loved ones during their difficult times is also important.
Not sure if many are aware but 1 in 8 couples and close to 16% of women face challenges related to fertility along with 15-20% of pregnancies end in loss or miscarriage (Kirmayer, 2018). You personally may not have been affected but someone you know may be suffering in silence or they know someone who is, so sensitivity and compassion is key.
I found an article that goes more into detail as to "Supporting a Friend Through Infertility" written by Miriam Kirmayer. Below are a few highlights in the article but please click the link above to see the full article that goes into great detail as to how you can help your loved ones.
1. Recognize the uniqueness of your friend’s experience.
2. Know it’s not your place to problem solve.
3. Watch out for triggering language.
4. Balance optimism with realism.
5. Understand their need for space.
6. Be sensitive when sharing your own news.
To be perfectly honest, I was not prepared as to how to handle sharing my exciting news with them knowing their one true desire was to become parents. One situation I played over and over in my head and for the life of me I could not pick up the phone. I just could not share that I was expecting knowing they had just lost their child. We went a little over a year without speaking to each other and although I would have liked to handle it differently it's a decision I do not regret. I do know and understand how people can want to be happy for others but yet their own personal situations can be so devastating that they can not truly share in your blessings. This was just one of those things that I had to just let play itself out.
With some of the others I found myself wanting to soften and cushion the blow so I called to tell them the news to allow them time to process and be prepared when the big announcement was made to the entire family.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to share your news but when it comes to friends and family that are suffering with becoming parents it can be an emotional roller coaster for them but that does not mean they are not happy for you. YES!!! You are excited, thankful and blessed as you should be. So celebrate but being sensitive and checking on your loved ones during their difficult times is also important.
Not sure if many are aware but 1 in 8 couples and close to 16% of women face challenges related to fertility along with 15-20% of pregnancies end in loss or miscarriage (Kirmayer, 2018). You personally may not have been affected but someone you know may be suffering in silence or they know someone who is, so sensitivity and compassion is key.
I found an article that goes more into detail as to "Supporting a Friend Through Infertility" written by Miriam Kirmayer. Below are a few highlights in the article but please click the link above to see the full article that goes into great detail as to how you can help your loved ones.
1. Recognize the uniqueness of your friend’s experience.
2. Know it’s not your place to problem solve.
3. Watch out for triggering language.
4. Balance optimism with realism.
5. Understand their need for space.
6. Be sensitive when sharing your own news.
- Give fair warning.
- Focus on feelings.
- Recognize and respect their need for time.
- Take care of yourself.
- Continue your thoughtfulness.
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